I love a routine. It brings me balance and keeps me within a schedule. However, sometimes I let my routine work against me.
In the morning, if I don't read, drink my apple cider vinegar concoction, and meditate, I consider myself garbage and condemn my day to doom and gloom. I allow myself to shame...myself. "Enjoy your unbalanced day, Jeremy, you non-meditating heathen!!"
These 'shoulds' really attack me and sometimes, I feel I have no control over them. "You SHOULD be going for a run, Jeremy!" "You SHOULD be writing in your gratitude app, JEREMY!"
I can feel my anxiety tingling in my chest just writing that!
I started to develop a method for myself.
Remember in high school when we would have A schedules, B schedules, C schedules...? My high school had them, pretty much for every scenario. Extending homeroom, cutting classes short, making classes longer...
What if we can arise each day, assess how we feel and what we need, and apply the routine that will serve us on that day and in that moment?
Some days, I love going for long runs and jamming out to music. Today, I allowed myself a short run/walk to music and a podcast and it is OKAY. Maybe that's a part of my B routine? I haven't labeled them yet, but you get the idea!
Let's give ourselves some wiggle room and listen to what we need in the moment versus what we SHOULD be doing.
Let's not let those routines that help us work against us!
I'm currently writing this blog way later than normal and there is a small voice inside of me shaming me for it but to that voice I say "Not today, Satan!!!"